What I wish...

Its 11:11 make a wish. What do I wish for? Well, besides the wish for my children to be happy, healthy, loved, and safe; I wish for justice in the system, available services for every child who needs them, a safe spot for every one, loving arms for every child, cures of all kinds, and hope.

I had a meeting with my lawyer today, the one handling my oldest two's adoption, he is a great man who has worked on every side of the system and is honest to a fault at times. He knows what he is doing. He unfortunately has also worked with many who are disrupting adoptions. This has left him slightly jaded. He looked at my older two's files and looked at me and said "Melanie, I know we have been over this and you are sure and committed, but are you aiming for martyrdom?" I laughed, his expression didn't change, he told me it pained him to see me so kind and loving, when there is no support in the system, he told me that it would be awful, if I turned into those people I cannot understand, who have had enough of their children. He then wished me the best and went on with his paper work. I have never NEVER questioned my adopting these two. They are not easy children. Both have significant special needs and require a lot out of me, but I am their mom, that is all there is. I have no way to explain to him, why I am doing it other than that. It is not because no one else would take them, or that they have been with me for three years, or even that it is what I know. It is simple yet fierce, they are my children, always have been, always will be.