I miss you!

I really miss posting in this blog. It used to feel nice just to let it go, then it became a hassle, but maybe I will start back up! My family is again changed since the last time I posted. The teenager that was with me is now moved on. She was with me for 6 months but needed a forever, and we were just not her fit.
We are in the middle of a snowstorm right now, a blizzard, a snowocalyps some people are saying! What it means for us is plenty of gallons of water, batteries, candles, and hoping that we don't get a call for a placement!! I hope all kids are safe and warm tonight!! For me and my kids, we are enjoying board games, brownies, fake birthday parties, and coloring! I hope that they can keep up their great behaviors tomorrow as we will still be snowed and iced in the house!
Now it is time to read up on all of the other blogs!

It's been awhile...

It has been awhile since I have updated this blog. Life got in the way. The biggest change is that I now have a fifteen year old. It is funny, because even though she is my newest, people never assume that. They think I am crazy because I would take in a teen foster girl when I already have three kids with special needs. I will say that it just happened. I was asked to keep her temporarily. Well in foster care two weeks turns into forever.

The way of the world...

Today in the world of foster care, I have been frustrated. I am sure that shocks everyone. The system leaving a person feeling unvalidated, lost, manipulated, surely not! I must be the one who misplaces things, lies in reports, and gets my children's names mixed up! Oh, the love.

For example: We had been trying to get a med consent for one of my fc for awhile now for a psycotropic med. CW calls said it had been denied, when I asked why, cw said didn't know, would look it up for me. Five minutes later I find out it is because CW submitted it for the wrong child. Got to LOVE the system!!!

New and old...

Today was a day of stress and adventure. My parents came up for lunch. My parents try really hard to accept my "choices" in life, but its not them. They could never foster, never have multiple special needs kids, never understand why a single mom would want to add more kids. I understand that they don't get it, but they don't have too, they just have to be respectful of my choice to me and my family. It went ok. They tried harder than they ever have before, however they will never be able to see me and my life as normal. I am ok with that.

Also, me and my sister have decided to take a leap of hope by taking some things out of our kids diets. We are removing a lot of processed foods and dyes, trying to eat food that is as organic and natural as possible. This is in some hope to bring down some of our children's behaviors, it may not help, but it surely cannot hurt us! We will see!

Oh man, I needed to update that my eldest had a large breakdown today. It has been three years since move in day and over a year since TPR and K seemed to be broken down today by anger over some injustices in K' short life. We yelled and cried together. It was so therapeutic. we ended by me rocking K to a peaceful sleep.

what Mothers say...

Almost every mother will say; “I would die for my child.”, “I would give up everything for my child.”, “My child comes before everything else.” I wonder how many parents are faced with this. I also have come to wonder if actually facing this and surviving, makes your love/bond stronger, more pure.

I have realized this week, that putting my child's life before my own wants and needs, sacrificing potentially everything else in my life to put my child first, is completely necessary. I have told my family, my own mom that if she cannot accept that my choice has been made to support my child, that she would lose us. And as much as it would devastate me, I have to put my child’s rights first. I am the only one my children have, and I will support, protect, and cherish them with the fiercest of mama claws.

I feel so strong knowing that there is nothing that will stand in my way of my children’s needs. I will choose their life any day over my own.

Fathers day...

Today is fathers day. THis is a day that brings up a lot of questions in my home primarily, who is my dad. To answer their question honestly would be too much, they have no father, no legal father, no known father. Just no father. I explained to them that yes, every human being has to have a male (father) and a female (mother) to exist, but that doesn't help that I have no answers for them. Should I say; "Well Butter bean, your first mother gave three names of potential fathers, but they all denied it", or "La La, your mom said she had no clue who your dad was, she was working then." or "Sweets, we have a couple of names, but none of them could be bothered to do paternity testing." Nope, so I said to them if you want a dad, then I will have to get married, and that would mean you all sharing me with someone else. Sweets said no thanks, La La said maybe later, and Butter bean had three names for me and told me to get him a daddy! LOL gotta love kids!

On another note, I want to take a minute to thank my father, he is one of the most accepting and loyal man I know. He didn't have to take my children as his grandchildren, but he did, they carry his last name and I hope will do it proud. He has always been there for me and my siblings and worries and loves all of us. He is truly a fantastic man.

Sick of this (pun intended)...

Last Thursday, my eldest was sick, fever headache, throwing up, etc, then this Tuesday, my middle child was sick, same hoopla with lethargy thrown in. Tonight youngest got it, no word for headache and a really sad kiddo! This mamas tired!