Short trip

I just got back from a mini vacation with my mom and my kids! It was fun. The kids enjoyed everything, but they enjoyed the pool at the hotel the most!! They also got to ride a horse drawn wagon, and since it was a slow day they got to feed Pete (the horse) for a good twenty minutes! We did bring in some stares, I saw not one other person of color our entire time there, much less a transracial family! We love the spotlight. Mamaw of course spoiled the kids wild, they ate ice cream, popcorn and snow cones galore. I had a nice time with my mom too we even finished off the evening with some wine. The only dark side of this vacation was that we had to cut it early to get back in town for what was supposed to be a super important therapy group for my middle son (with significant special needs.) If it had been an encouraging group I would not be negative, but seeing how utterly ordinary it was, I think it was more detrimental to my sons mental health to miss out on Mamaw time than to miss this.

Accidents happen...

Augh... I am going on a mini vacation tomorrow, and I am leaving my home a 6AM the only problem is that it is now 1:30AM!! Yikes, I need to get some sleep, but something scary happened. Yesterday, I noticed something silver and liquid on my bathroom floor. I assumed that it was paint, so I wiped it up with a towel. It left a grey streak on my floor, so I went back and later got it with some bleach and a towel. None of my kids admitted to it, so I kind of let it go. This night I had a light bulb moment and remembered that I had an old mercury thermometor. I ran to check and sure enough I found the broken thermometer. I FREAKED!! I googled and got all sorts of scary results so I called poison control. A man named Marco told me a million ways to clean up mercury spills, even though I explained it had already been cleaned up, but thats all. I asked repeatedly if I should be worried, he continued to just say no, it will be fine. Google sounds much worse, so I am calling my doctor tomorrow! My nephews have been here for the last two days so I have had five kids ages 7m to 7y, I am worried!!!!

P.O.ed

Well today was interesting. My agency called me and tried to yell at me for not attending a group therapy session with my younger Rad child. GRRRRR..... They made these sessions on Friday evenings! WHo has their Friday evenings free during the summer?!? Not me! I got angry back when she said I need to prioritize... I am prioritizing, and on that, since when have my boys been your priority??!?!? You had eighteen months to set up counseling and psychiatry and nothing even after I and N did all the work for you!!!! Grr... I cannot wait until they no longer have this hold over me. These boys have been with me for three years, have had over 6 case workers, a dozen therapists, 5 psychiatrists, and two agencies, but I am sure they know what is best for my kids.

Little thief...

My oldest stole from me today. It is heart wrenching. I really am not sure how I am going to handle it. I had left thirteen dollars on the table and it is gone. I acctually didn't realize it was gone until after I found it onto of the dresser where K puts all special things. I am so sad for me and upset with K. I hope I handle this right. Life can be complicated.

No work, no fun???

I have worked since I was about twelve. It started with a paper route, then babysitting, deli counter, residential treatment, then daycare. I am now jobless (by choice kinda) being a SAHM to me means that mondays don't mean anything, you have to feed your children waaaay to often, there really is no such thing as free time, and I can be really creative! I love my children even with their alphabet of dxs, (RAD, PTSD, SPD, Mood disorder-nos, FAE, Intermittent explosive disorder, etc... remember this is spread between three kids!) I have also noticed that it is incredibly draining to be your children's full source of entertainment! Also, I am watching my two nephews a couple days a week and thanks to my kind heart, also going to watch my friends twins one day a week. That should help with the entertainment no?

The big weekend

This weekend was my sisters big garage sale. My mom and grandma came up to help, it was interesting to say the least! With my three and my sisters two we probably scared away more customers then we got! No, seriously the kiddos weren't that bad! My three went shopping around the neighborhood and we picked up a few new odds and ins including a little tykes picnic table I was soooo excited about!!! It has been a good weekend even though it has been completely unproductive for me, I think I have two loads of laundry to fold and put away and we have ate out more in the last two days than we have in a month... I really need to watch that spending especially since I am not working this summer to hopefully heal up my oldest one a little bit. He does get to start the new behavior mod school this fall so that will help as well. There is hope at the end of the tunnel. For tomorrow, or later today since it is about 2am whoops, I am going to go to a nature reserve with my closest friend and she has four little kids so people will hear us coming a mile away!!

Its a challenge

Oh man, this parenting thing is hard. How do you know that you make the right choices for your children??? I feel like being in a transracial adoptive home my choices for my children get scrutinized! I live my children with my whole heart and would do whatever is necessary to have them grow up to be healthy and happy adults! Would you make a hard choice for your child? If it was what your child needed, but it could cause life to be uncomfortable or cause you to lose people close to you would you chose it? I have been thrown into a situation that I am so lost in, but I at least know that now my motives are pure, I am throwing myself under the bus to allow my child to live happy.